Week 36 + Life Plans


{picture by my husband, inspired by this maternity shoot}

I haven't spent too much time on this blog devoted to my pregnancy (or my personal life for that matter). But, I figured some of you may be curious about this baby and our life.

I am now almost full term! It completely boggles my mind. I went to the doctor this week and the baby is head down and things are progressing normally. I am measuring right on for my June 1 due date and am getting anxious to meet the little guy. He moves all the time, and it's so reassuring to feel his kicks, wiggles, and hiccups.

We still don't have a name! I wouldn't be announcing it on the blog if we did, because we decided to keep the whole process under wraps (much to everyone's chagrin). Unfortunately, we had a major naming blow this week. The name that my husband and I had all but agreed upon was making me nervous because it is used for both boys and girls, and I wanted a name firmly in masculine territory. Some of you may know that the Social Security Administration keeps tabs on the top 1000 baby names every year. They released their list this morning. I was so disappointed to see that the name we had all but decided on went from a 70/30 male to female ratio to the girls surpassing the boys. I don't know what we will name this little guy because those stats make me completely uncomfortable. So, wish us luck!

Other than that things on the baby front are pretty calm and collected.

If only the rest of our life were on a painless track like this baby. As some of you know, my husband hasn't been able to find a job since finishing his teaching certificate last spring. We have been living in this incredibly difficult waiting pattern for what has turned into years. I have a good job with insurance and stability, there's just one little problem, I am not happy there. It's been the hardest time on the both of us, because we wish we could switch places and the opportunity just hasn't presented itself to us. Over the last few months our hopes were high once again. My husband had made it into the inner circle of the history department at a local high school and even got to know the principal while subbing there. We thought it was a sure thing. It wasn't. We found out this week that the job he worked months to get, won't be offered to him.

At this point, we are planning for my husband to go back to get his masters in history in the fall. It's a hard choice to make, but the one that seems right for us at this time. This, of course, is made more difficult because the program my husband is pursuing is out of state. Our families are heart broken at the possibility of us moving away with our new little one. And of course, that just makes the tough time we are having even harder. I am sure things will work out for the best, it's just been a wee bit stressful to plan these huge life changes with a new baby in the mix!

I think I just spilled more of my guts in one post than I have in the previous 2+ years of blogging. But, it feels so good to get it off my chest.

I hope you all have a fabulous weekend! We will be picking up a few more things for this baby and spending the weekend together - just the way we like it.

21 comments:

  1. I hope everything works out for you! If his master's program is the usual 2-3 years, at least your little one will not have started school and would make it easier to relocate back home to family, then it's just the task of finding a job nearby. I graduated school with a History degree as well and know it's hard to find anything in that field! Good luck! :)

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  2. You look Gorgeous!!
    Hard challenges and life trials Have Great outcomes!
    I know its stressful for you right now but nothing great is just created it will be hard and may even get harder before it gets better but Im sure the outcome of it all will be magnificent!
    good luck!! wish you and your growing family the very best!

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  3. It's so fun to hear all your plans :) Good luck with all the changes coming up. Being away at school with a new baby is challenging, but wonderful too. It's been a whole new experience for us. I'm sure you will love it. Can't wait to see the little guy and to hear all your final plans. And to find out his name! Hugs from TN!

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  4. Beautiful picture! And good luck with the baby naming thing...it's harder than it looks.

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  5. Oh my gosh I understand! Maybe that's why I loved you guys so much when we had your shoot. :) I'm so excited for you guys though because that school is amazing and you guys will go so far! And honestly...? School is so short-term that the time is just gonna fly. Good luck!

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  6. My husband is doing the same thing. Hopefully in two years, the teaching job market will be much better!

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  7. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy! I think I replied via Twitter already, but we picked our son's name despite it having a very masculine origin, it's been making it to the top 20 girl names lists, and I've met a couple baby girls with the same name (but no boys).

    But, I liked the name too much to give it up just because it was trending in the girls list. Hopefully it doesn't become a problem when he goes to school! :(

    And WOW, that is a tough decision to pick up and move after having the baby. Good luck with these huge life changes. I'm sure everything will work out eventually! :)

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  8. Keep your chin up. Life is so poopy sometimes, but it seems to me you have a really good perspective on life, even in the hard times, so i know you'll do fine, though its not easy or helpful to hear right now.

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  9. Oh! Thank you so much for sharing a little more of yourself with us. And now you have the www supporting you. I hope it helps. Gorgeous maternity shot, btw!

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  10. I read this while nodding in recognition. My own husband has been subbing at a high school for a few years now, hoping for a history position. I am going to think good thoughts for both of our history-loving husbands.

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  11. wish you , your husband and the baby the very best

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  12. Wow big changes all at once! Thanks for sharing, it actually makes me feel better to know that others are struggling but making it through gracefully as you are. I have a bachelors degree in nursing and thought I would be able to get a job no problem while my husband is attending school for his masters out here in Boston, but there are just no jobs out here at the moment. Makes life difficult but as you said, things will surely work out. I will be sending prays your way. Best of luck with everything!

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  13. I knew there were aspects of your job that were awful, but I didn't know it was so bad! I'm sorry! I wish you both the best as Steve pursues his masters -- if you're okay with sharing, where are you guys relocating? {I would be secretly super-happy if you said NC, but my guess is that's not the case.}

    P.S. You look so adorably pregnant! I could never have pulled off a picture like that; my belly was such a funny shape, like the top half of a mushroom.

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  14. Good luck with grad school and picking a baby name! I know it'll be harder on your families but living away with just you and your husband and your new baby will strengthen your marriage.

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  15. Thanks so much for sharing your feelings! It takes a lot of courage but it feels great to get it off your chest.
    It must be a very hard decision to make. I know it sucks to be away from family, especially now with your little one.
    You guys are very talented and something even better will com on your way.
    Let us know if you need anything!!

    Nadja :]

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  16. I work at Excelsior Academy (A charter school in Erda [Northern Utah]) and they will be looking for teachers for next year!

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  17. It breaks my heart that you are going through so much right now, at this exciting time for your sweet family! I hope and pray things will take a turn for the better. Thanks for sharing so much, I have loved your maternity photos! Simply beautiful. Keep your faith, you can get through this. And soon you will have an amazing little one to love! Congratulations again.

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  18. Hi, I just stumbled upon your blog a little while ago, but have been popping in periodically. Congratulations on the baby :) I just had my first too and every thing about the pregnancy was so exciting. Real life, on the other hand, was as stressful as yours. Things did work out, though, as they will for you too. I know that's the most annoying thing for people to say; believe me, I'm annoyed at myself for saying it. I hope you enjoy the last few weeks with you and the little one. Life only gets better from here! :))

    {mommy chic} latest post: You say tomato, I say coral

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  19. Madeline, Sorry, I'm a little late, but wanted to comment on this post. First things first, gorgeous picture of you and your tummy!! Second, naming is SO hard I think. We have struggled with it both times. I am definitely with you on the unisex names. I just can't do it. I want a name that shouts femininity or masculinity. I was thinking about E's name the other day and the thought popped in my mind that his name could quite possibly end up on a girl! I would hate it. Hopefully it won't happen. For what it's worth, I never thought it would help to choose a name based on seeing the baby for the first time, but it totally did. I'm not sure that it was so much what he looked like as much as how it felt. I just felt good about one name more than any of the other 3 we had picked out. No matter what you name him, he will make it your favorite name in the whole world.

    I also feel like I can relate to your job situation. Although my husband has never been without a job, he has been building a client based business on nothing but commission since we got married. I have worked more than one terrible job that I've hated for way too many hours a week to help support him. Sometimes it's so hard to feel like we will never get to a place where we feel "comfortable" and "established." I've learned a lot about wanting what I have vs. having what I want, and living a happy life on a very low salary. :) I know we're watched out for, and I'm sure that with the addition of this little family member, things will start to fall into place. Hang in there! I'm envious that your little one is almost here! Any day right?

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  20. If he's thinking about going out of state, he could think about going to UC Santa Barbara. It has an intensive one year M.Ed program. I went through it to get my credential and my master's. It's a solid program. I totally understand the disappointment and the struggle with the politics in education. It took me two years to get my full-time job. Tell him to stick with it! It's worth it when the moment comes. You're wonderful for being a huge part of his support system. I know I wouldn't have made it without the support of my husband.

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  21. Hi! I found your blog ages ago and somehow lost track of it. I just wanted to comment because I have felt similar feelings when I was pregnant with my (now) 4-year-old.

    Life was very uncertain for us for quite a while. I ended up continuing to work (part-time, fortunately) in a job I was not happy in for several months after my son was born, after which my husband found work here and there while continuing to pursue his "dream job."

    Five years later we are expecting our third baby (I am also 36 weeks! hooray for June), and after countless hours of work he was only doing for the paycheck, my husband has finally, pretty recently, found that dream job. I am working a tiny bit, mostly from home, but only because I like it. Life continues to surprise me in good and bad ways but I am actually glad we have gone through what we have gone through. So easy to say that on the other side--it was not easy at the time. But because of those difficult times I feel like we can handle more now; and we are so very aware of our blessings in a way we wouldn't be if they had just been handed to us.

    Anyway I just wanted to wish you the best of everything, I think your blog is super fun and a great idea, and congratulations on your up and coming little guy! Everything will work out. you'll see. :)

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